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I was blessed to spend time with my brother and family in Arizona. The dessert’s beautiful tones were breathtaking. I had the opportunity to jot notes during a heart-to-heart discussion with my sister-in-law about her 20-year natural hair voyage. I am inspired that Denise is not only in love with her natural hair, but proud to rock her beautiful graying hair. Who says graying hair is taboo?
(Denise and Myself posing in Sedona, Arizona)
Read more about the Natural Salt-N-Pepper below…
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I have had relaxers, Jheri curl (Michael Jackson look), and hair extensions. I actually wore extensions for three years at one point. I would take them out and put them right back in. No matter what style I tried, I always came back to natural. Natural is easy, and it pleased my husband. Being natural is convenient. 
Childhood
Back in the day, If you had short hair in Trinidad, they would call you all types of names. When I was nine or ten, I would wear my afro puffs. I was Ruff –n –tuff with my afro puffs. When I first had my full afro, it was back in the 70s. At first, everyone wanted to press their hair. I was too young; my grandmother would not allow me to. Then the black power movement came, and I was finally in style with my ‘fro.
Say It loud, I am Black and Proud.
It wasn’t until the late 80s I went to Medgar Evers, a Black college in New York that I felt sexy because of the way I wore my hair. I had my son, long hot pink nails, mini skirt and an afro. The guys would constantly tell me how real and good I looked. I was even asked to be featured in a magazine. I was considered uplifting, and called nice names like African Queen. I started to appreciate how I looked, because I realized it was a beautiful thing. Being in a Black school it was so appropriate, my hair seemed to fit. I was more comfortable being there with my afro.
Now I am older, this is me, Denise. Anything else will just be fake. Now you can do natural styles. I’ve always had an afro(giggles). It is the most natural thing for me to do. I have no desire to put any straightness in my hair. Sometimes I toy with color. Weather I do it or not, I don’t have to. I don’t feel obligated.
Salt-n-Pepper Hair
At one time, I couldn’t deal with the gray. During my grandmother’s funeral, I looked around and saw all the beautiful gray-haired women like my mom. I also saw the beautiful images of my gray-haired grandmother who I looked just like. To honor the women of my family, I decided to stop coloring my hair. When I first started wearing my hair salt and pepper, some people were in disbelief. You’re not going to color it, they would ask. But others would say, wow you are so beautiful with your silver hair. You wear it with so much pride, I could never do that. I tried to encourage them that they were just as capable.
I started to get a lot of compliments. My friend, who makes quilts told me not to ever die my hair because I have such a distinguished look. I feel good wearing my hair like this. I noticed, when you see other people with gray hair, you feel a bond. Just like if you see other people with natural hair. You compliment each others hair, it’s the Salt and Pepper secret club.
Men and Natural Hair
When I decided to stop coloring it, he suggested I continue to color it. After I explained to my loving husband I wanted to do it for me, he seemed to be on board. After I owned the look, and I would mentioned I wanted to color it he would say: No, keep it salt and pepper but short. Whenever I would have braids, or straightened my hair my husband wound’t touch it. Once I cut my hair he will rub it, and its seems as if he falls in love with me all over again. He just loves the natural look, and loves my hair. He seems satisfied long as it is cut really short! .
Do you have any advice for anyone going Natural?
When you wear your hair natural, feel the beauty and appreciate your hair. That is what God gave you. Feel beautiful. Earlier when people told me I was beautiful with natural hair I wouldn’t believe them. But take the time to just believe people. I feel real. You don’t have to put any strengtheners to feel like anyone else or go through pain and suffering.
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You are right - do you! As you grow your hair, you can rock the same styles that anyone else would do without graying hair. My favorite is the twist out…but consider a ‘fro, locs, twist, silky twists, bantu knots, etc.
I am looking for ideas. In 1990 I wore a shoulder length wave nouveau, but I left my full-time job to go to college full time. I couldn’t afford the hairdo anymore so I had my barber cut me a TWA. She couldn’t believe it because I had always stressed I wanted length. But I was serious and I loved my new short do and never had my hair straightened or chemically treated since.
Over the years, I grew more gray and began to dye my hair black or dark brown, but after a few years I realized I didn’t like it. My hair is black where it is not gray. This means I could have brown hair with salt and pepper roots, or black hair with salt and pepper roots. Didn’t like that look. I stopped dyeing it and felt much better. Lately…I don’t want to cut my hair anymore. What can I do? I am 63 years old and I have always had a problem with what to do with my hair. Well, now I know that i want it to just “do what it do”. Let it gray and let it grow. But I have to organize it some way, don’t I? If anyone has ideas, please enlighten me.