Welcome to the soul of natural hair. The positive expression of black aesthetics by Lady Kinnks. Visitors may surf our site and blog to celebrate natural hair.
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It was to the point that, if my hair was not done, I wasn’t going to school. Go out in public in-between micro braids, NEVER! What would people say if they saw how short and nappy my hair was? I would look like a slave.
Extreme, of course not—ask any black girl! My close friend thought I was crazy. “Get over your self,” she rudely yelled, “it is just hair”! Her annoyance made me question my concerns. How could she understand? SHE was Black and Puerto Rican. She had good hair, she could wet her hair, apply gel and look flawless. All the boys showed their interest. I on the other hand needed my hair to be fixed, it grew-in broken.
The year before chunks of my permed hair fell out. No one told me you couldn’t comb your hair if it had spritz in it. I was giving the straightening a break. Not having $150+ to get my hair done, I was forced to go to school with my natural fro. I felt sick to my stomach, the world was ending. “Why not go and get a nice press and curl,” my mother begged.
Once I arrived at school, no one even noticed. The predominately black high school already knew all about natural hair, they were unfazed. You mean to tell me, the world did not end?
The experience reminds me of Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye. The self-hatred for our ethnicity, at times, allows us to imprison ourselves. I hid behind my wet and wavy “human hair,” it defined me. I was not the girl who was class president, accomplished good grades, or the one who touched people through valuable relationships… no I was just a nappy headed hoe.
Around this critical time, I found a book called Nappily Ever After by Trisha R. Thomas. The main character, was very successful. She too defined her self by her long “good” hair. The book asked, what happens to the people in your life, when self-definitions like long hair are gone? Superficial relationships will perish.
Yes, Nappily Ever After—it gave me the confidence to be me. I was happy to know I was not the only one going through an internal struggle! I am glad you found me!
I wish we were taught to embrace everything about our ethnic qualities. I am in my forties and I know that back then, if we didn’t have relaxers we were sitting in a hot salon getting our hair pressed. When I was in my early thirties, I remember being at work and mentioned that that I was getting my hair done in micros. My boss at that time said that’s "a good way to get fired." (Trust, I responded, "that’s a good way to get a lawsuit") When I see a woman sporting a well kepted Natural hairstyle, I applaud them. I am glad that young woman are working pass stereotypes. For some uneducated reason, people assume that whoever wears their hair in a "Ethnic" or nautural style, that they are dirty, sloppy, uneducated or lazy. WAKE UP!! Afro Americans and Caucasians!!!! THAT’S NOT THE TRUTH
I decided to grow my hair out in high school, when most people tried their hardest to fit in the “norm” with the popular kids, I tried to be different. My junior year was a big learning experience,(relating to my hair). I had to become creative with styling because the varying texture. I got to the point were I just gave in and many days
went to school without caring about how my hair looked or how others would
react, and for me this was freeing. By senior year all the relaxed hair was gone and it was fun learn and exploring natural styles. The difficult part was defending my decision, why was I doing it, “she must be locking her hair,”
“letting it grow back in, it must have been falling out.“People could not wrap their minds around my decision to have natural hair, however the very people that questioned my decision later decided to go natural in college. My hair story has returned me to having relaxed hair, but the decision was not one of negative self-image, just a new and different look…However it has been my hair story relaxed, natural, somewhere in between, that has allowed me to love…all the looks I decided, a decision that is made for me not to fit into the “norm”. It is important that wherever your story takes you, it is you that directs it, not the opinions of others!
thanks for creating this directory. i also like to share my knowledge and appreciate the people who gather and make it available for others
Mikaela
CNHS
why is it so hard to let go??
i feel society has gotten such a grip on me, that this is all i know. weaves. i really want to make this transition and go completly natural but, its quite difficult. what inspired you to just do it & not look back?
For many, “going natural” was a mistake or accident. The inability to get your hair done….then you realize its not a big deal. Is your hair in wearable condition? Before you get your weave re-done do you have the ability to just go to the supermarket? Try a simple exercise like going to the supermarket and see how you feel. If it feels right, continue with your voyage. Also be honest with yourself. What is your biggest fear, what can really happen if your seen without your weave? Keep us posted on your progress!!
Thanks. I really don’t know why I’m so attached to braids & weaves. I just dont feel like my hair is healthy… but then again, what does that necessarily mean??? Girls continuosly perm the hell out of their hair and they get comments like “your hair looks soo healthy” but is it really? All of these different perceptions of beauty. I represent my Sudanese heritage to the fullness. I love my big lips, “charcoal” skin, long legs…ALL OF IT. I wish I knew why its so hard to love my hair just as much. Why is it that, when a dark skin girl decides to cut her hair off short, shes labeled as a “chicken head” along with many others, but when a person with lighter skin does that its, oh! she’s so “BOLD” These are the type of things that really make me feel insecure.
You are so correct, when someone with “good hair” cuts theirs everyone is like girl your hair looks great, but if your hair has some extra kinks that same person is like why did you do that? My girlfriend tells me my personality goes with my hair and I definitely take it as a compliment, I have a very outgoing personality and I think my hair matches. I love my hair and would never turn back, I was scared to go back to work after my BC but that is the one place I get the most compliments from both black and white, especially with the different styles I try. I would tell anyone don’t be afraid of what others may think, you would be surprised. It will be one year for me in December, I am so proud of myself.
I know this was an old post but I am just now finding you. I also just read Nappily Ever After about two months ago and I loved it. I could not put the book down. Secretly I wanted her to get back with the other guy but was so happy she found her soul mate. I saw a lot of me in her. Great book and very inspiring.